By this we known love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 1 Jn 3:16
How can you know real love?
Instead of telling us what love is, Jesus showed us what it is. The sacrifice of the cross was an example of real love. We can use this as a gauge to tell whether or not we are operating in real love towards others or if someone else is operating in real love towards us.
Jesus’ gave us the definition of love: an unselfish caring for another. So we can tell if it’s real love by asking these questions:
Do I truly care about this person even if I strip away everything I can get out of the relationship?
Is the same thing true for the other person towards me?
When we receive the love of God that is shed abroad in our hearts (Rom 5:5) we have the ability to love anyone. Even if we don’t like them. This is the true glue that keeps all relationships together. It’s the glue that can make marriages last for a lifetime.
When you are looking for a marriage partner, this is the most important quality that they need to possess. If they don’t have the ability to operate in this love, then your marriage is going to be a disaster. If you don’t have the ability to operate in this love, your marriage will be bad, as well.
Marriage and relationships are not like the fairy tale image that many people have in their mind. It takes this real type of love to make a marriage work and last. Many people go from relationship to relationship, from marriage to marriage, thinking that if only they find the right person, everything will be good. Not true! It’s not the type of person that you need, it’s the type of love that you need! If both people possess this love, any marriage can work. In fact, even if only one of the partners has this love it is possible for the marriage to work, and even be a good marriage!
This love can only come from a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ.
I’ve realized that no human can make you happy. It’s best just to understand that then to go through life thinking that you might find somebody someday that will make you happy. Hang out with Jesus and happiness will be yours. And when you aren’t dependent on another human to make you happy you can focus on being the husband or wife towards that person that you need to be.