Hal these are good and the images draw in the reader.

There is a small correction in grammar in the last paragraph of the books one – take out the and and insert nothing at all or “now” lives to save.

I personally object to the word “saved” because it drudges up a lot of antagonism from folks who are struggling with the lack of God in their lives. “Jesus took the penalty we deserve” perhaps or something that avoids any hint of “Christian talk”.

My other suggestion is that there is no hint in these tracts that explains that God KNOWS that we can’t live our lives without lying, cheating, etc. He KNOWS we need a savior – so he sent his own son to step in and take the punishment in our place. It was such a loving act – I think his love draws us towards him. Once we see his loveliness we are able to kneel under his authority willingly. This is perhaps very theologically different from what you think but just thought I’d send along my thoughts…

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